The Return of Jade
by A. Lee
Summary: Its the Next Generation! Jackie and everyone else is dead, leaving Jade, her sisters, and Section 13 to battle the bad guys' kids. But what's this? An ice cream cone saves the day? *Complete*
1. Introduction

Story 11  
  
This is a JCA fanfic.  
  
A sixteen-year-old girl with long black hair tied up in a bun was executing perfect martial arts in the air. When she finished, she sat down on a nearby chair and panted for breath.  
  
Uncle Jackie would have been proud of me. A pang went through her chest. Uncle Jackie. Slowly, tears escaped her eyes.  
  
After the Dark Hand's last attempt at freeing the demons had been spoiled, Shendu/Valmont attempted to kidnap Jackie. They succeeded. Desperate, Jade had called the Jade Team. Oh, how she remembered. It had been a dark day, and she and Paco had been the only survivors.  
  
Captain Black had been broken-hearted, too, but he had pulled himself together in time to invent a story of a car accident. And that's what everyone thought.  
  
[Flashback]  
  
"Jade, Paco, leave," Viper gasped, as she fought the Dark Hand. The shadow-khan were getting stronger, and they were losing, though Jackie had been released.  
  
Hak fu zoomed in for the death kill. Tohru slumped to the ground. He had leapt in front of them just in time.  
  
In a last attempt, Jackie pushed Jade and Paco out while Uncle chanted the chi spell.  
  
Seconds after they left the building, it exploded. They had been shocked, and had just stood there until Captain Black came.  
  
Viper's fortune had been left to Jade, and El Toro's fortune had been left to Paco. Uncle's store and Jackie's money had been left to Jade's family. Paco and Jade had parted ways at the airport, and had never seen each other again.  
  
Viper's fortune was a huge secret, the one comfort Jade had left, for it gave her something to daydream about. She wasn't allowed to withdraw money from it until she was sixteen, something that helped keep it a secret from her parents.  
  
Jackie's money and Uncle's store had been a small fortune, but most of it had been used to pay off Uncle's debts and for Jade's older sister Lotus's college expenses. A small portion of Uncle's magic books had been left to Jade, and Jade kept them in her room.  
  
When she got home, no one believed her stories about the Dark Hand and the talismans. Her mother regarded them as fancy stories, and her father believed that they were stories she made up as a psychological comfort. After several visits to the "shrink," Jade told them only to her angel-like younger brother, Jackie, named in honor of Uncle Jackie, for he had been born several weeks after Uncle Jackie's death.  
  
Jade had begged her mother for martial arts lessons, but her mother refused. Jade sulked. So what if she was nothing like her genius older sister, Lotus? Or if she was so different from her flute prodigy younger sister, Opal? After several weeks of sulking, she made a pact with her mother. She didn't care if her twin sister Blossom had skipped a grade. She would be angelically good, and work hard in school, and everything, if she could have martial arts lessons.  
  
And so that was why she had long hair instead of her usual short hair. After being told it was either long hair or no martial arts, she had grudgingly let it grow, but refused to do anything with it until it began getting in her way during martial arts class. Then, she began to learn how to put it up in ways that would keep it out of her eyes and wouldn't give her opponent an advantage.  
  
Jade sighed. She was going to America tomorrow. Back to America. She smiled wryly. At least her English was already perfect.  
  
She sighed and continued punching her punching bag.  
  
Over the years, as Jade tried being the perfect lady, she found that the easiest thing to do was sink into her studies until the time where she could vent out her frustrations. So with each accomplishment she got, she also got something out of her parents.  
  
At first, it was a simple. Each time she got straight A's; she would get new martial arts equipment. After a while, when she skipped the grade, her parents were delighted. Jade soon got permission to join any class she wanted as long as it wasn't too expensive.  
  
During that precious time where she could discard her "lady" image, she learned discipline, patience, etc.; all the little things Uncle Jackie had been trying to teach her. Of course this helped her to control her red- hot anger during school, etc. where she was constantly teased.  
  
Jade made no friends, for she didn't want to. The friends she had made in America … well, they died. All, that is, except for Captain Black, who merely retired. She hadn't seen from Paco from so long, but that was a good thing. Seeing would bring back memories she had stored away a long time ago.  
  
So when she graduated from high school, she no longer wished to stay in China. She decided to go to Harvard, in America. Her parents were surprised, and told her that she had to complete college before eligible for a scholarship to Harvard. She bluntly told them that she needed no scholarship, as she had enough money for a tuition fee. She sent in her form, and within days, a letter was sent back, accepting her. (In China, you finish college before being eligible to win a scholarship to another college in another country, and only if you're really smart.)  
  
And so she was headed back to Harvard. She shivered. Back to America.  
  
It was summer vacation. The school term was over. Jade smiled. Harvard had worked her hard, and she barely had time for her martial arts, but she squeezed it in, and even got a neat job at an antique shop. Curious. Another antique shop owned by an eccentric old man with a nephew who did everything he told him to. Jade shivered. Déjà vu, major.  
  
In Harvard, she had remained aloof, distant, and cold, unlike her usual friendly self. She had bluntly refused dates, which came like raindrops, pattering away, annoying her to no end. She had left her hair long, deciding that it made her look weak, and gave her the advantage of surprise when sparring, but had it up constantly, and disliked taking it down. Jade was no longer the impatient, bouncing, carefree tomboy of youth. She was now calm, possessed, and skilled. She was a perfect lady with moves of death.  
  
A young man fell in step beside her, looking about several years older than her. He had a face resembling Captain Black's slightly. It was round, with eyes that seemed suspicious of many things. But he wasn't bald. Instead, he had short brown hair, trimmed neatly. He wore a black suit, like Captain Black's, down to each shoe.  
  
"Jade?" he asked.  
  
She ignored him.  
  
"My name is Augustus Black Junior," he said.  
  
She turned around. "Now, you've got my attention," she said, turning around, looking at him coldly.  
  
"I am Captain Black's son," he said.  
  
"I kind of figured that," she said, raising an eyebrow. "And since when did Captain Black have a son?"  
  
"Just because he was in charge of Section 13, doesn't mean he didn't have a family life," Augustus said. "Anyways, I just turned 20, and I am now of legal age to take over Section 13."  
  
"And I care because …" Jade asked.  
  
"The talismans and the Pan Ku box have been stolen recently. I believe that it's the Dark Hand, but they consider me a child, and I know nothing," Augustus said bitterly.  
  
"Get Paco to help you," Jade said coldly. "I have a life."  
  
"And I don't, senorita?" a voice piped up behind him. "That's cold."  
  
"Paco?" Jade asked, startled.  
  
"Jade," Paco smiled.  
  
"No," Jade said. Without another word, she walked off.  
  
"I expected her to do more than recognize me," Paco said, startled. "I mean, she always hated me, and I always hated her, but I thought she'd at least say something."  
  
"My father said she was always carefree. Have you seen her file? She skipped a grade and is attending college early. I don't think this is the Jade you know," Augustus said wryly.  
  
Jade sank down onto her couch. She sighed. She knew what they were going to ask of her. They wanted her to devote her whole life to destroying the Dark Hand, like Jackie did, like Uncle did, like El Toro did, like Viper did, like Captain Black did. And what happened to all of them? They all died, except for Captain Black, who is no longer Captain of Section 13, and can't do anything anymore.  
  
Almost involuntarily, an image of Jackie and Uncle popped up.  
  
"Jackie! See what you do. Jade now no longer wants to help good. Just like you! Jackie! You bad influence. One more thing. Jade! Help Captain Black's son," Uncle said, before hitting Jackie with his two fingers and disappearing.  
  
"Jade," Jackie said, staring at her. "What have I told you about bad guys?"  
  
Uncle appears again. "Stupid Jackie! Jade isn't joining the bad guys!"  
  
Jackie looks sheepish and scratches his head. "Jade. Captain Black's son is nice. Help him fight the Dark Hand."  
  
A disgusted Viper shows up. "Move over, big guy," she says, rolling her eyes. She looks at Jade. "Lookin' good," she smiles. "Been using my money much?"  
  
Involuntarily, Jade shrugs. Viper smiles. "Some advice, kid. Refusing to do anything against evil is just as bad as doing the evil."  
  
A medley of voices swirls out. "Do it for us!" they call.  
  
"We sacrificed our lives fighting the Dark Hand. Think you can help a little?" Viper asked softly. "See ya around."  
  
Jade snaps out of her reverie. "I'm going to do it," she announces to the empty apartment. "After all, it is Summer Break, isn't it?"  
  
Jade stood in front of the empty alley. A single phone booth occupied it. "Take the phone booth or the stairs?" Jade considered. "Taking the stairs would be the lady-like thing to do. I'll take the phone booth!" she smiled wickedly. "I haven't ridden on a roller coaster in a long time."  
  
As she stepped into the roller coaster, er, I mean phone booth, it spun around her, finally dumping her out on the floor. However, Jade lands with ladylike grace and looks around her. The section is crowded with people, all of them streaming in from the stairs. None of them notice her, as all of them are busy doing one thing or another.  
  
Jade blends in with the crowd, and walks toward where she used to live. As she passes by familiar spots, memories overwhelm her, but she manages to blink back her tears. As she gets to her room, voices are heard inside.  
  
"Wow! This is Section 13?"  
  
"It's pathetic. My father ran it much better. I mean, the security is so lax!"  
  
"Security? Lax?" Jade stepped out. "Sorry to disillusion you, Augustus, but even in your father's day, security was lax. How else would a ten-year old girl be able to steal all of the talismans?"  
  
A. B. Jr. and Paco turned around at the sound of her voice, and their jaws dropped. Let me explain. When they last saw Jade, she was wearing loose jeans and a hooded shirt, similar to her outfit she wore oh-so-long ago. Now, she wore a tight black skirt that ended at mid-thigh and a rainbow-colored spaghetti strap. Her long hair was down for once in her life, and she looked much more feminine, for over the years, she had developed. She wore makeup, which she only did out of habit, and high heels.  
  
"Hello?" Jade waved her hands in front of their faces. "Anyone home?"  
  
"Umm. Since when did you wear makeup?" Paco ventured.  
  
Jade's face darkened. Paco's face fell. He knew that look. Thinking quickly, he hurriedly made his escape, and left.  
  
"So how long have you worked in Section 13?" Jade inquired.  
  
AB Jr. looked away. "Umm. I don't work in Section 13." There was a silence.  
  
"You don't?" Jade asked. There was definite edge to her voice.  
  
"I work in Section 12," AB explained. "You see, I just joined, and they put me higher up out of regard for my father."  
  
"You just joined and you want to rule the roost?" Jade asked. "You are waaaaaaaaay too ambitious for your own good." So saying, she left.  
  
As she walked out, she noticed a familiar door. Oh yes. This was the room in which the one scientist guy. Alex? He had worked on experiments in here. Gently, she entered the room.  
  
"Who're you?" a rough voice called out.  
  
Jade whirled around to see … "Drew?"  
  
Yes, it was her childhood friend. The guy who didn't believe her stories and scoffed at them, but yet brought her amusement.  
  
"How do you know me?" Drew asked. He now had a jackknife in his hand.  
  
Jade stared at him dryly. "If you think that's going to stop me, you've got another think coming."  
  
"Umm. Yeah. So who are you again?" Drew asked, raising an eyebrow.  
  
"You really don't remember?" Jade asked. "You know, the one person who told you all about Section 13. By the way, why are you here, anyways?"  
  
"Some dopes used funny symbol things to explode my house, and me and my parents needed a place to stay," he said nonchalantly.  
  
"They're talismans," Jade said dryly. "I told you about them in fifth grade. Don't you remember?"  
  
Drew stared at a Jade for a long time. "Jade? What are you doing here?"  
  
"Why not?" Jade asked.  
  
"Section 13's a secret," Drew said.  
  
"They're not good at keeping it, are they?" she said dryly. "They still haven't changed their base after 7 years."  
  
"You're not supposed to be here?" Drew asked.  
  
"Of course not," Jade snapped. "Now, if you're done with the stupid interrogation, I'm going to look around."  
  
So saying, she slipped out the door, and blended in with the crowd. With each look around, more memories came surging back. Finally, unable to take it anymore, she slipped into an empty room. She was about to cry, for the first time since Uncle Jackie had died, but a hand fell on top of her shoulder. Gasping, she whirled around, only to see it was Paco.  
  
"I know how you feel," he said in a low voice. "I moved out of the village as soon as possible. It had too many memories."  
  
"I just want to forget," Jade said desperately.  
  
"Don't," Paco said forcefully. "Don't forget. There is a saying: a man is not dead until he is forgotten. Don't erase their existence from the world, for they only live on within our memories."  
  
Jade snorted. "How many times have I heard that one?"  
  
"How many times have you heard it from someone who knows exactly how you feel?" Paco asked. There was a silence, and then Jade sighed.  
  
"Okay," she said. "I'm calm. Let's get back. I'll meet you and A.B. at … at where Uncle's antique shop used to be."  
  
So saying, she briskly took off, and Paco sighed, and walked in the other direction. Neither noticed the small pair of eyes that watched them. [Who owns the pair of eyes? Drew! Duh!]  
  
The once-shabby antique store was now an elaborately decorated teashop. Sitting on a small table set for one only, and permitting one only, sat a young girl. Her long black hair fell over her shapely body, and a halo-like sheen surrounded it. She wore a traditional Chinese dress that emphasized her curves. The night outside was dark, and the moonlight gently shone on her hair, and stressed her mahogany brown eyes. Her dark red lips were pursed thoughtfully. [Imagine the episode about the Wild West. Picture the girl who first appeared and looked nothing like Jade, so Jade claimed it was typo, but a bit older.]  
  
Through the door walks another young girl around the same age. She rested at a small table of one, too. Her long black hair was put up in a bun, knotted with sticks poking into it, keeping it out of her face. She was petite, and though she looked slightly out-of-place in the surroundings, she had the grace of someone as at ease as can be. She wore a form-fitting top that resembled the top of a Chinese dress, but her dress went to just below her knees, and swept around her comfortably. She ordered green tea, the same beverage the former girl ordered. Her eyes swept the room and fell on the only other girl in the room, and her features tightened.  
  
Taking her eyes deliberately off of the other girl, she watched the door warily. If they came in before the other girl left, it would be … but it was too late. A.B. Jr. and Paco came tramping through the door, followed after a while by Drew, who avoided their glaring gazes.  
  
Their eyes swept over the room, and fell on the other girl first, and drooled for about five seconds, before meeting her. Her face was turned away. If her sister would carry tales, she would not care. She was doing this for Uncle Jackie.  
  
"Jade," A.B. Jr. called out.  
  
Reluctantly she turned around and gave them a curt nod before turning back around. Shrugging, they went over to the table, pulled some chairs, and called the manager over to get their orders.  
  
At this time of night, decent people would be sleeping, but the manager had stayed, for the first young girl had ordered cup after cup of his most expensive tea, and he didn't want to drive her off when profit was coming in. Then, to his good luck, a second girl had come, and had ordered more of the expensive tea. Now, three more boys had come, and they were ordering some of everything.  
  
Jade, A.B. Jr., Drew, and Paco conversed quietly in low tones. The others often looked up at the girl to see if she was listening or to give her longing glances, but Jade completely ignored her.  
  
When they got up to leave, the other girl did as well. As the guys walked ahead together, Jade dropped behind. When the other girl was by her side, she stopped abruptly, as did the other girl.  
  
"If you tell Mother …" Jade's threat trailed off. "You have been following me," she said abruptly. "You were watching me the other day when I told Paco where we would meet." [Hah! Psyched you out! Not Drew, but this girl.] "What will you tell Mother?"  
  
The other girl gave her cool glance. "I am your twin sister, whether you like it or not, just like she is our mother whether we like it or not. You should know that I do not carry tales. I am not that kind of person."  
  
Jade bowed, just as the other guys turned around to see her. "Xie xie, Blossom," she whispered.  
  
Blossom bowed back. "You would do the same for me," she whispered back.  
  
Then, without regarding each other, they parted ways. Jade walked ahead calmly.  
  
"Who was that?" Drew asked.  
  
"My twin sister," Jade responded calmly.  
  
Sputtered choking was heard, as Paco and A.B. Jr. had been eating a fortune cookie each.  
  
"And you didn't tell us?" Paco demanded.  
  
"It did not matter," Jade dismissed. Over the years, she had learned how to adopt a cool tone.  
  
"Excuse me?" A.B. Jr. demanded. "You're twins with the cutest girl alive, and it doesn't matter?"  
  
"I said it doesn't matter!" Jade said, her voice tense and edgy. Then, she gave him a cold glare. "Beauty's only skin-deep, but intelligence lasts forever," she said. "I'm going home now."  
  
"It's somebody's time of month," Drew muttered.  
  
"I heard that!" Jade called out.  
  
A slightly younger version of Hak Foo with black hair leaps out. Behind him are miniature versions of Valmont, Shendu (in dragon form and female), and another exact miniature of Hak Foo, but the younger younger Hak Foo is, like eight years old, and has red hair. The youngest Hak Foo miniature is creeping behind everyone, and isn't noticed.  
  
"I am Hak Too, Hak Foo II," the black-haired Hak Foo calls out.  
  
"I am Valmont Junior, V.J.," mini-Valmont says, bored.  
  
"I am the child of Shendu, Shenli," the female Shendu says.  
  
"And I am-" the youngest is cut off.  
  
"You're not supposed to be here, Hak Woo," Hak Too says impatiently.  
  
"Please," Hak Woo begged.  
  
Hak Too slumped. "Fine," he ordered, "but stay out of the way."  
  
Hak Woo smiled.  
  
Hak Too smiled, too. "Angry Eagle Steals Baby Birds!" he yelled. He leapt through the air, did a back flip, and landed silently on top of the roof. He leaped again, breaking through the glass window, ran in, grabbed something, and came running back out. They escaped.  
  
Back at their hideout, V.J. paced back and forth in front of Shenli. "You made too much noise," V.J. growled.  
  
"It would have helped if there were other lackeys helping," Hak Too growled.  
  
Shenli's eyes flashed. "You know that Mudan, Meigui, Lixue, and Chunhua are still debating over our offer."  
  
"I don't understand why we don't have ordinary American lackeys like my father, not the expensive Four Sisters," V.J. complained.  
  
"Precisely my point," Shenli hissed. "First, females are superior to males, and therefore will serve us better. Better yet, the Chinese are skilled fighters, and the Chinese Flower Quartet is the best assassin group. They will do what we wish if we offer them a high enough price. Raise to one million dollars, Valmont Junior." Her glare silenced any possible protests against the female-superior-to-male comment she made. (Though we all know this is true.)  
  
"Yes, Shenli," V.J. sighed. "You will be sure to bring back my father and Hak Foo and supply lots of money for the debts?"  
  
"Yes," Shenli said irritably. "Now that we have the Talismans and the Pan Ku box and most of that pesky man's magic books, we can do most of it, but I need the other books. You must find them."  
  
"Yes, Shenli," V. J. sighed. It was going to be a long day with a b****y dragon ordering him around.  
  
  
  
Jade was contentedly sipping tea in the teashop she frequently visited, when a crash came through the window.  
  
"Hands up," a girl in a green outfit ordered. "We want all the money and your antiques in the back."  
  
A girl in a red outfit rolled her eyes. "You say it with style, Chunhua. Like this. Hands up, everybody. This is a holdup. Put the money into the bag slowly and get us the antiques in your storage room."  
  
"Like you're any better, Meigui," the girl in the white outfit said. "You're Chinese accent is ruining in the atmosphere."  
  
"Shut up," the girl in the pink outfit said. "Lixue. Meigui. Chunhua. We are here for a reason. The money and the antiques. Now!"  
  
Jade smiled, amused at these girls' antics. Although they were probably trained assassins, they were obviously making as much of their stay at San Fran as they could. She could see a couple of brochures poking out of pockets.  
  
The owner of the teashop hurriedly dumped a small sum of money into their bags. "What else do you want?" he asked, trembling.  
  
"The antiques in your storage room," Lixue reminded. "Like Mudan said."  
  
"But, but, but," the manager protested. "They are already sold … I cannot give them to you. They are promised to another."  
  
Meigui pulled out a curved knife. "Then you'll just have to un- promise them. That's not a problem, is it?"  
  
The manager gulped. "Fine with me. I don't care." He scurried to the back of the teashop, and came back carrying a bundle of books. Jade's eyes narrowed. Uncle's magic books.  
  
Before she could do anything though, a voice spoke. "I don't think so."  
  
Three figures were outlined on the rafters, their features hidden.  
  
"Flowers of the Magnolia," Mudan hissed, her face contorted with hate.  
  
"Chinese Flower Quartet," the figure that spoke first filled her voice with disgust.  
  
"Have you enough courage to confront us at last?" Chunhua demanded.  
  
"Let go of those books," a second, even voice, said.  
  
"What are you going to do about it?"  
  
A/N: I'll leave you hanging. Give me one email, and I'll write more. 


	2. Conclusion

A/N: I apologize for this chapter beforehand, but I had no bright ideas. So sue me. It's my story anyways, and I can do what I want with it, even end it abruptly with no reason whatsoever.  
  
"Come at me again?" A.B. Jr. said again.  
  
"How did you get put in charge of this case again?" Jade groaned.  
  
"Cause you wouldn't answer any questions, and I'm your friend," said A.B. Jr. "Sort of," he added at her glare.  
  
"Back at home, in China, there were two gangs. Not really even gangs. They circulate the countryside. The Chinese Flower Quartet is a group of four girls (Mudan, Meigui, Chunhua, and Lixue) who go around executing martial arts, etc, to rob banks and such. They're the supervillains. No one knows who they really are because they wear masks. Then, there is the Oriental Jewel Quartet. They're the superheroes. They're also disguised; wear masks, different costumes, fight the bad guys, and they both leave. It's basically a stalemate since only 3 of the 4 Oriental Jewels show up, with the edge to the Chinese Flowers. It's considered a great show for everyone except for the people being robbed back at home," Jade explained once again. "Kind of like China's Superman, only real, and times 3."  
  
"And they've come to San Francisco," A.B. groaned.  
  
Jade shrugged. "I'd keep an eye out for what exactly the Flowers were after, if I were you."  
  
"So what were their names again?"  
  
"The Chinese Flowers basically translate to Rose, Carnation, Spring Flower, and Snow. The Oriental Jewels are basically Obsidian, Amethyst, Moonstone, and Pearl. Those are loose, rough translations, and shortened for easier-to-say Use. Just call them the Flowers and the Jewels. Everyone does," Jade explained.  
  
"So what was the Flowers of the Magnolia business?" AB inquired.  
  
"Inside joke," Jade shrugged. "A tribute to Mulan, our favorite heroine. Mulan translates to Magnolia, and a Magnolia symbolizes us. Kind of our trademark. However, we're not even the Flowers, we're the Jewels. Like I said, inside joke."  
  
"We?" AB inquired.  
  
"Well, of course," Jade said, looking at him innocently. "I may not have been on the stage that time, but that was because I was busy. You didn't think that I would refuse to take part in a quartet of good guys?"  
  
AB groaned. "Do I even want to know?"  
  
"Of course not, AB," Jade smiled. "Finish up the interview, and call Paco and Drew on over. Then I'll introduce you to my sisters."  
  
"Is that with an 's'?" AB asked. "As in more than one?"  
  
"As in three," Jade smiled, opening the door and walking through it. "Can you guess who they are?" she inquired, swinging down the hall.  
  
AB closed his eyes. "I'm pretty sure my father didn't have these problems," he groaned.  
  
^*^  
  
Paco just laughed. "I can imagine how frustrated Jade must have felt, when none of you believed her."  
  
"Hey, it's not my fault! I didn't . and still don't believe in magic," Drew said defensively.  
  
"I'm still positive that there's some scientific explanation for the talismans and the Pan Ku box," AB said. "We just have to research some more."  
  
"There is, actually," a light voice teased.  
  
"A very scientific explanation," another voice chimed in.  
  
"So scientific, I'm sure you'll faint from the science-ness of it," yet another voice chorused.  
  
"It's magic," a last voice finished. The last voice belonged to Jade. "How many times do you have to get it through your head? It's magic! M-A-G-I-C! Magic!" Finishing her tirade, she bopped AB and Drew on the head.  
  
By Jade stood three girls. One was the girl they had the met the other night, who looked a lot like her. One looked older, and was younger.  
  
"This is Blossom, Opal, and Lotus. Sisters, these are the doofuses," Jade introduced.  
  
"Hey, I resent that," AB protested. "I'll let you know that I'm working my way up the chain at Section 12."  
  
"But you still haven't even got to Section 13 yet, have you?" Jade smirked.  
  
AB scowled.  
  
Drew bowed. "I'm a doofus and proud of it," he announced.  
  
Paco took Opal's hand. "A pleasure to meet you."  
  
Opal looked at him with amusement. "I've already got a boyfriend," she said.  
  
"Really?" Jade asked. "Who?"  
  
"You know that cute guy in my flute class?" Opal asked. "Well he finally asked me a couple of months ago. Mom and Dad think it's nice someone ~respectable~ asked me out, but they think I'm still too young. You, on the other hand . you better get ready. They're going to send you a batch of letters soon, and you'll find that they think you're of the perfect age to start dating."  
  
"Ugh," Jade groaned. "Don't even start. Most guys are idiots."  
  
"Most?" Blossom asked.  
  
"Well, these guys are extreme idiots," Jade said, pointing to Paco, Drew, and AB.  
  
"Ignore her," Paco said. "She's upset because El Toro is better than Jackie."  
  
"That is ~so~ not true," Jade said whirling around. "Jackie can beat El Toro anytime."  
  
"And if we're extreme idiots, you're even worse," Paco smirked.  
  
"But Jackie can still beat El Toro anytime," Jade said.  
  
"Uh-uh!"  
  
"Uh-huh!"  
  
"Not!"  
  
"So!"  
  
"Not!"  
  
"Not!"  
  
"So!"  
  
"So! Hah! I got you to agreed with me," Jade smiled.  
  
Paco sulked.  
  
"So, what's the sit?" Blossom asked AB, ignoring Jade and Paco's bickering. (Pronounced "sich" as in situation.)  
  
"Well, we know that we've got Shendu's daughter Shenli, Valmont's daughter VJ, and Hak Foo's kids, Hak Woo and Hak Too," AB explained.  
  
"Since when did all the bad guys have kids," Jade groaned.  
  
"In-between opening demon portals?" AB shrugged. "Don't ask me."  
  
"How can a dragon have a kid? And with who?" Paco asked interestedly.  
  
"I don't want to know," Jade said. "Just let's leave the subject alone."  
  
"Well, we gotta do what we gotta do," Drew said. "So what do we gotta do?"  
  
"We can always spy out the Dark Hand's hiding place," Jade suggested.  
  
"We already know where it is," Lotus reminded her patiently.  
  
"Then we'll go and bust up their party to figure out what they want," Jade shrugged.  
  
"You really want to go, don't you?" Opal asked tiredly.  
  
"Why not?" Blossom asked, eyes bright.  
  
"You're just as bad as she is," Lotus informed her.  
  
"Oh, yuck," AB groaned.  
  
^*^  
  
Moments later, AB, Paco, and Drew were all dressed in black, ready to hide in the shadows.  
  
And the four Jewels had shown up. Jade was Moonstone. Her black hair was swept up in a bun, and she wore black (all the better for hiding in). Blossom was Amethyst. She looked exactly like Jade, except Jade had a silvery-streak in her hair, and she had a purplish-streak in her hair. Both were firmly reprimanded by their sisters when it was discovered. Words could be heard like ("easily seen in the dark!") and ("Mom will be furious!").  
  
Lotus was Pearl, and she looked natural. She had short hair that didn't get in her way, and she also wore black, but she wore muted shades of black that looked natural. She also seemed very embarrassed by her sisters. As the oldest, she was constantly in the midst of the fray, pulling ears and scolding, and she wasn't too shy to whack Paco, AB, or Drew for a crude comment every now and then.  
  
And Opal was Obsidian. Apparently, she had wanted to stay Opal, but she was ignored. And Obsidian wasn't even a gemstone! It was a rock, she complained. No one paid her any attention. She pouted. She was also dressed in black, though she tended towards tank tops and short skirts. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail.  
  
"You guys look so corny," Drew complained. Whack! "Ow," he rubbed his neck. "That hurt."  
  
"You guys are so going to get us caught," AB said. "This is not professional." Whack! "Ow, Jade. Was that really necessary?"  
  
All eyes turned to Paco. "I'm not saying anything. I know better than to anger Jade when she's freely giving out generous whacks." Whack! "Ow! What'd I say?"  
  
"Nothing. I just felt like whacking you . that's all."  
  
^*^  
  
"What is the purpose of this anyways?" Spring Flower asked impatiently.  
  
Shenli looked at the Chinese Flower Quartet and spoke. "My father and my uncles and aunt are still imprisoned in the Demon Portals. Although they are sealed, it is still not permanent. There is one last chance for me to set them all free, though first, I shall bind them in blood so that they all serve me. You, of course, shall all hold higher places than them, for you have all served me well."  
  
"So what do we do now?" Rose wanted to know.  
  
"I need those magic books," Shenli said impatiently. She was about to go on when a motion caught her eye. "What's over there?"  
  
Carnation, the leader looked over. "Rose, go check."  
  
"Make Snow do it."  
  
"Go check, Snow."  
  
"Make Spring Flower do it."  
  
"Go check what that is, Spring Flower."  
  
"Make VJ do it."  
  
"VJ."  
  
"Make Hak Too do it."  
  
"Hak Too, do it."  
  
"I'll do it."  
  
"No, Hak Woo. You're too young." Hak Too shook his head. "I might as well do it."  
  
"Anyways," VJ continued. "How will this bring back my father and Hak Fu?"  
  
"The chi spell that wretched Uncle chanted sealed all of them away. It has undoubtedly killed the old man, since it was a particularly hard one to do. But while it sealed your father and Hak Fu away, it also blew up the whole building, effectively killing everyone else. I shall just undo the chi spell, and your father can come back." Shenli smiled. "It should be easy."  
  
"What's the catch?" VJ asked suspiciously.  
  
"Well," Shenli explained. "It'll be as if they haven't lived the past eight years. They were sealed, and then we set them free immediately. They'll be the same age, look the same, and remember the same. It may be hard for them to understand at first. But they'll be fine once they get it."  
  
"Hey, guys," Hak Tu called out. "Look what I found."  
  
"Hold it," Jade called out. "I thought your name was Hak Too."  
  
"It's Hak Tu now."  
  
"I don't get it."  
  
"Neither do I. Ask the insane author."  
  
Back to the story .  
  
Hak Tu continued. "I found an ice cream cone."  
  
There was a silence. "So?"  
  
"None of us eats ice cream, and this is fresh," Hak Tu explained patiently.  
  
"Can I have it?" Hak Wu asked eagerly.  
  
"No. It's evidence."  
  
"Evidence for what?"  
  
"Somebody was spying on us, or was here previously," Hak Tu said, rolling his eyes.  
  
Meanwhile .  
  
"All right. What's the big idea? Who brought an ice cream cone back here?" Jade demanded.  
  
"Oops," Opal whispered. "I wanted to try American ice cream, and butter pecan is really good."  
  
"No. Butter pecan is disgusting," Blossom argued.  
  
"Hey, how can you say that?" Jade asked. "Butter pecan rules!"  
  
"Nah, it stinks," Paco shrugged.  
  
"It rules!" Jade said.  
  
"It stinks!"  
  
"Rules!"  
  
"Stinks!"  
  
"Some people like butter pecan," AB interrupted.  
  
"And some don't," Drew finished. "Let's just leave it at that BEFORE THE BAD GUYS LOOK OVER HERE AND REALIZE THAT WE'RE HERE!"  
  
Suddenly, he seemed to realize that he was yelling. "Oops."  
  
Eight pairs of interested eyes turned over to behind the crates .  
  
^*^  
  
"This is all your fault," Lotus informed her sister as she ducked a roundhouse, and did one of those kicks where you sweep the floor and knock your opponent down. (Hehehe. I didn't know what it was called.)  
  
"Is not," Jade complained as she aimed a kick Hak Tu's private parts. She missed.  
  
"Is too," Blossom grunted as she endured a punch in the belly ("Oof!") and responded by giving Rose a black eye.  
  
"Is not," Jade grumbled as she dodged a flying three-cornered knife (don't ask) that Carnation had just aimed at her. Opal (who was fighting Spring Flower behind her) paused in the middle of delivering a killer final blow and caught the three-cornered knife expertly. Within moments, she had sent it on its way back towards Carnation, and she continued grappling with Spring Flower.  
  
"Is too," Opal grumbled. While pausing to throw the three-cornered knife away, Spring Flower had managed to wiggle out of a headlock and obtain a sharp-looking metal thing.  
  
"Where'd you get that?" Hak Wu asked curiously.  
  
Spring Flower shrugged. "It's one of those plot things where it just ~happens~ to be lying on the middle of the floor."  
  
And then, another sharp-looking metal thing appeared in Opal's hand, and the two began to fight again, causing sparks to fly.  
  
"Is not!" Jade said hotly as she finally made it over to VJ, who immediately began defending himself with his cane. "If anything, it's Paco's fault. He started it."  
  
Paco, who was currently trying to bash Snow on the head with a much- improvised weapon (a convenient chair he had grabbed from a nearby table), stopped in mid-bash. "I did not!" he retorted. Then, he shut up because he was trying to block some blows Snow was trying to inflict with a sabre she always carried with her.  
  
"Did too," Jade yelled as she finally managed to break VJ's cane in half. VJ looked at the broken cane and began throwing a tantrum.  
  
Meanwhile, Drew had the Talismans and Pan Ku box, and was trying to leave the abandoned warehouse unseen. AB was trying to snatch the magic books away from a very real, fire-breathing dragon.  
  
Finally, Shenli got impatient, and attempted to singe AB again. While ducking, he accidentally tripped over a convenient rock on the ground, and fell to the ground. By the time he got up, Shenli had already opened the book, and was chanting the spell.  
  
Moments later, all fighting ceased as they watched a swirling begin in the air. Jade, the experienced one, watched as a portal began to open. She watched apprehensively.  
  
Suddenly, Jackie and Valmont tumbled out, grappling as a loud explosion was heard behind them.  
  
"What?" they asked together, both surprised.  
  
"Where's everyone else?" Jade asked, surprised at only seeing two of them.  
  
Shenli held up a piece of parchment. "It's on here, one of the quirks of the spell. Let's see . the other cronies, Tohru, Viper, and El Toro were caught in the explosion, an aftereffect of the chi spell. Uncle's heart failed him during the chi spell. Only Jackie and Valmont made it through."  
  
Meanwhile, Jackie was scratching his head, his feud with Valmont temporarily forgotten. "What's going on?" he finally asked.  
  
Jade pushed in front. There was silence for a couple of minutes, then . "Hi, Uncle Jackie."  
  
"Jade?" Jackie asked, shocked.  
  
"That's the scrawny runt who also happens to be your niece?" Valmont asked, surprised. "How'd she grow old so fast?"  
  
"Umm . dad," VJ said hesitantly.  
  
"VJ?" Valmont stared at the 15-year old in shock. "But . you're seven!"  
  
Shenli smiled. "Explanations can wait. Right now, Jackie, the Jewels, and AB must die!"  
  
"Not on my time," Drew said victoriously as he snatched the magic book away. He had used the Snake Talisman.  
  
"Fight!" Shenli shouted .  
  
.  
  
Author pauses here to insert something. What happened afterwards was absolute and utter chaos. I'm sure you could care less to hear how Jackie ended up with green hair for a week as a result of a spell Shenli remembered wrong, or how Jade's mother arrived in the middle of all of the fighting, and began scolding everyone until VJ whacked her with a cane, wherefore she began solely reprimanding him, while whacking his backside with his own cane, or how the identities of the Oriental Jewels were discovered by the Chinese Flowers on accident and all four fainted in shock, or how the Chinese Flowers turned out to be cousins of the Oriental Jewels, or how Carnation swore (and made her sisters swear) to give up crime, or how Jade grabbed the magic book and after a few moments of poring, found a spell that would seal Shenli up in the same world as her father, or how the spell almost backfired, and Valmont ended up in the demon world for an hour before the mishap was fixed, or how AB got a huge conk on the head as well as promotion to assistant head of Section 13 when he returned all magical artifacts, or how Hak Wu ended up in an orphanage where he was quickly adopted by a caring family who let him visit Hak Tu in jail every week as long as he kept a B or higher average and participated well in school, or how Drew ended up recompensed for a new house by Section 13, and ended up with a beautiful mansion, or how Blossom and Lotus hacked into a computer and gave Jackie a new identity (because dead people don't roam about on the streets) and provided him with easy money so they all lived happily ever after. But I digress. I'm sure you're more interested in what happened to the butter pecan ice cream cone and its role in the victory against the Dark Hand.  
  
.  
  
Well, Shenli had been sealed into the portal, and the Chinese Flowers had defected. All that was left were VJ, Valmont, Hak Tu, and Hak Wu. Well, Jade's mother had at this time dragged all her daughter except for Jade (who went to school in the US) as well as her nieces back on a plane to China. Jade, Jackie, AB, Paco, and Drew were the only ones left, and they far outnumbered the Dark Hand so they should be winning.  
  
However, AB was conked on the head at this point, and was pretty much out of it, muttering something about now that he was head of Section 13 he wanted to thank the little people who made it happen. So, the fighting was a stalemate.  
  
All of a sudden, at the climatic crucial moment, Valmont ended up slipping in the butter pecan ice cream cone Hak Tu had discarded earlier. He slid all the way across the room, right into his son. Hak Tu immediately raced after Valmont, as did Hak Wu. Hak Wu was shorter, however, and he did not catch up with Hak Tu. Jade quickly restrained him.  
  
Well, Valmont and VJ were still slipping on what remained of the butter pecan ice cream cone when they crashed into a tower of crates, and a lot of stuff fell on top of them. Hak Tu, who had been running after them, ran into the crates, unable to stop. And the three of them were captured.  
  
Valmont's final words before he was put in jail were aimed at Hak Tu, and his son voiced his sentiments. "Idiot."  
  
The End.  
  
A/N: Forgive me, but the story was going nowhere. Hope there was nuff humor in this chap to make up for the really serious and corny last chap. 


End file.
